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Internal Reflections: blame

Rebecca Potter

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do, and I’ve hurt myself by hurting you.
— Christina Aguilera

I know it's just a lyric from Christina's song, but this past month that specific lyric hit home.

I have recently found myself blaming a significant person in my life for flaws in my own personality and these flaws ultimately led to my unhappiness. I ended up making them feel guilty about things they never did wrong. I blamed them through quiet resentments, complaints, and a lack of clear communication. I put the pressure on them to guess how I was feeling while expecting them to compensate for those negative emotions. Oh, how I wish it had taken me a much shorter period of time to figure out I  was doing this.  

That feeling of unhappiness was within myself, and just because that feeling creeps up every once in a while, it does not mean that it automatically becomes someone else's responsibility to make that feeling go away. Through my blaming this person, I hurt them and in return, I hurt myself. 

Many people, without realizing it, puts pressure on others to make them feel happy. However, blaming someone else for a fault or issue of their own is a downward spiral that the person being blamed cannot resolve. The only person who can turn the negativity back around and resolve the issue at hand is yourself. I have learned this the hard way through too many emotional arguments that never should have happened in the first place. 

As I have learned, and am still learning, it is important to reassess the unhappy moments and other feelings and find out why you feel that way and where they stem from. I think it is very healthy and important to take someone along the journey of resolution with you, but it is not healthy to blame that someone for what you are going through. 

The relationships you have will be so much more at peace  after a healthy reassessment and resolution. 

Don’t blame a person for no good reason;
don’t accuse someone who has not harmed you.
-Proverbs 3.30

Internal Reflections: first reactions

Rebecca Potter

Have you ever said something without thinking about what you were going to say and right after you spoke, you immediately wanted to take it back?

Yea, me too...or maybe it's just me? 

I word vomit; and the interesting thing is, pretty much every time words come out of my mouth in situations where my opinion is not needed, they are spoken out of selfishness and pride. Every thought running through my brain in that moment are about me. If I didn't hear the response I wanted from the other person, my first reaction is usually speaking words I want to take back immediately after they come out of my mouth. 

I never really thought about these first reactions reflecting my own selfishness, but after spewing out harsh words a few times and being told that I was being selfish, I've decided it must be true. I am more selfish than I thought.

Selfishness is something we are all born with. It is survival instinct to fend for ourselves, but it should also be survival instinct to fend for others as well. In almost every situation where selfishness arises, we end up taking out the most important factor; the other person. Two is better than one right?

I know for me, when I really step back and examine a situation where I've just blurted out all my woes, I really would rather support what is best for the other person rather than what I want in the moment. 

Learning to tame my first reactions will always be a journey, but I know it's one worth taking.

Nothing should be done because of pride or thinking about yourself. Think of other people as more important than yourself.
— Philippians 2.3

Spring is in the Air

Rebecca Potter

Spring has got to be the best time of the year. The sun is shining, baby animals are everywhere and the colors of the earth..can you paint with all the colors of the wiiiiind....start popping up like daisies...literally. I absolutely love flowers because of the vivid colors they can produce. I recently walked through a Botanical Garden and these are some photos I snapped while I was there. I still can't get over how beautiful flowers can be!

Never Too Old To Be Young

Rebecca Potter

There is something about being on a swing that I just can't get enough of.

It might be that feeling of freedom that occurs when swinging so high it feels like flying. It could be the sense of being a kid again and having no cares in the world. Or it might be the immense amount of daydreaming that floats in my head while I swing back and forth. 

Whatever it is, I love it and I will never grow too old for it.  

I think growing up too fast has become a mini epidemic. I've seen girls as young as six look more like a teenager than I looked at the age of 16. The way girls dressed used to be about the pretty butterflies, flowers or sparkles on their shirt. Now the way girls dress is to impress everyone around them. What happened in the nine years since I was 16?

Life can bring so much more joy when you can truly be yourself, be young at heart and be free from the negativity that surrounds you everyday. I have learned this through the past couple years and I am definitely still learning this every day.

I encourage you to start on a journey of discovering yourself and your passions and what makes you feel truly free, beautiful, and happy. 

Meanwhile, I'm going to go find another park with a giant swingset :)